The Constitution, demystified (Part I)

I am a big supporter of the Constitution. I know that sounds silly to say, but a lot of people that I know either know too little about the document itself and what it says to form an opinion or they directly support ideas that go against the Constitution itself. To me, the Constitution is an amazing piece of innovation in government for just one document. We got some of the smartest individuals of the time together and had them create a system of government that embraced the ideals that our ancestors yearned for when they left their own countries and immigrated to the colonies. I thought I’d dedicate a little time turning this 200 year old document into something that people today can easily understand.

I’ll be doing it in bits and pieces, here is Article I about the Congress.

The Preamble

Hey world! We’re looking for a form of government that embraces justice, peace, national security, and generally awesome times for all of our people. Here’s how we plan to do it.

Article I – What’s the job of Congress?

Section 1

The king was an asshole so we don’t trust this much power to one person so we’re going to give it to a group. Actually, he was enough of an asshole that we’re going to make two – the House and the Senate.

Section 2

The House will have members that are elected every two years. To be eligible, you must be 25 (It’s 1776, you’ll probably be dead by the time you’re 50 so we can’t make it TOO late), be a citizen for at least 7 years, and live where you are elected (duh). The amount of representatives will be based on the population and we’ll just it every 10^th year (we’re too lazy to do it any more frequently). You get 1 representative per 30,000 citizens but if you’re below 30,000, you get at least 1.

The House can impeach the President if he has an affair with an intern or other such crimes. (but not like secret detainment or wire tapping or anything like that)

Section 3

The Senate will have 2 representatives from each state and will serve for six years, with it staggered into 3 groups that are elected every 2 years. You have to be 30, be a resident for 9 years, and live in the state where you’re elected. This is a much more exclusive club. Cool people only.

The Vice President is the President of the Senate but can only vote if there is a tie. Otherwise he just sits around and looks old.

The Senators are the people that hold the trial for the impeachment of said presidential adulterers or other such crimes. Two thirds of the people have to agree that “if the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit” (Oh wait, that was OJ)

Section 4

Boring stuff about when they should meet. Friday is Hawaiian shirt day, newest senator brings the beer.

Section 5

You can get rid of a member of Congress with 2/3 agreeing. That’s 66.66 Senators. That means 66 and then one that’s asleep or something.

The Congress will make its own rules about how to run the meeting.

Hey, write this stuff down. It’s probably important.

Make sure that you let some one know if you’re going to go out. Old people tend to wander off.

Section 6

Sure, we’ll pay you a little bit of money for doing this for us.

You can’t be arrested for stuff you do on the Congressional floor or in traveling to or from work. How awesome is that?

Don’t take any other jobs while you’re working for us. That’s not cool.

Section 7

We need to make some money for this sum bitch. The House will be in charge of this stuff but we’ll let the Senate give some advice too.

If we want to make a law, both the Senate and House have to pass it and then it has to be signed by the President. He can veto it if he doesn’t like it but if 2/3 of the House says that they want it, they can override him. Take that Mr. President, take that. If the President is on vacation and doesn’t return the bill after 10 days, then screw him… it’s a law. Was fly fishing really worth it?

Section 8

Hey Congress, you can do these things and nothing else:

1) Collect taxes (we’ll hate you for this)

2) Borrow money and pay debts on behalf of the US (we’re sure you’ll be like a teenage with a credit card)

3) Regulate trade (don’t let everything get made by China. We can really make our own cutting boards… seriously, it’s just a block of wood with a handle.)

4) Figure out how and when people can become citizens

5) Make and distribute money (bling bling mother fucker)

6) Establish a post office (how else will we put Elvis on a stamp in 2 hundred years)

7) Dealing with copyright (bet you’ll never see Napster coming)

8 ) establish lower federal court (like Judge Judy)

9) Declaring war

10) Raising and supporting an army, navy and a militia

11) Making laws (duh)

Section 9

Here’s what you can’t do:

1) You can’t suspend the rights of people to not be detained without a trial. Lawyers need love too

2) You can’t enact any law that is retroactively in effect.

3) Don’t play favorites with states. Except Idaho, you can forget about Idaho if you want

4) Don’t tax interstate commerce

5) Don’t take any money from the Treasury unless it’s for a law. Plan ahead if you need beer money.

6) Don’t give out any special titles of nobility. Nobody cares about the Duke of Yorkshire anyway.

7) Don’t take any money or gifts from kings. We pay well enough.

I’m checking my email to see if you responded to this yet.

I recently took a trip to a large YMCA park with the school that I teach at to chaperone a student retreat. (I survived) While I was there for the weekend, I had no cell phone reception and no Internet connection. I am an extremely connected and technology oriented person. I have an IPhone which means that I’m connected to my email at all times. I sometimes refresh my inbox every five minutes to see if anything new has come in. I’m connected to the New York Times and Bloomberg News. I have Wikipedia at my fingertips. Heck, I have the entire Internet in my pocket all the time. It was almost a shock to my system to be away from TV, email, text messages, and the Internet for even two days. This got me to debating within my own head whether being constantly plugged in is a bad thing. At some moments I’ve thought that I wanted to get away from it all. I wanted to stop playing video games so much and go read a book. I wanted to leave my cell phone in my hotel room when I go to the beach. Maybe I don’t need to watch so much TV. But then, what’s wrong with playing video games? It’s an entertainment medium for storytelling just like books. One requires imagination, the other problem solving skills. Why is reading an email at the beach such a bad thing? I’m not sure that it is.

One side of me enjoyed the peace and serenity of the woods without my cell phone near by. On this day, I was able to enjoy the little things with some ignorance of the outside world and just take in the lake, the woods, the burning fire place. I didn’t have to care about the shootout at the Waldorf-Astoria or the impending deep recession. It was nice to be focused on life’s simple pleasures. I was able to read a book without being interrupted by an instant message or the thought that How I Met Your Mother was coming on soon. I was able to enjoy a conversation with the people that I was eating with instead of constantly checking my email. After about a day without my connection to the outside world, I was able to adjust and I kind of enjoyed getting away from it all, even just for 36 hours.

At the same time, part of me likes being connected. I was recently standing at the train station listening to some music when I saw a group of pigeons walking along the train platform and all of their heads were bobbing as they walked. I randomly wondered why they bobbed their head when they walked and was able to look it up online right away from my phone. (In case you’re wondering, it’s to stabilize their visual surroundings. We move our eyes to do this as we walk, many birds move their head instead) Sure, this is useless information, but it was randomly interesting and I was able to get my questions answered right away. I can say that I read the New York Times every day because it downloads to my phone in the morning. I would never do this with a regular newspaper. I stay in touch with my family because I am connected. I regularly email or Facebook with them and keep in touch. I probably wouldn’t do this as frequently if I wasn’t constantly connected to Facebook and my email. Being constantly connected has afforded me many opportunities for both knowledge and the opportunity to continue relationships with people that 10 years ago would have faded with time.

My students have lived all of their lives being wired. They’ve always had 500 channels and access to cell phones and the Internet. Many of them struggled with not having these things for two days. One girl, in particular, told me that she didn’t enjoy the trip because she’d much rather be watching TV or being on the computer then being outside. She got dirty and this was not acceptable. Being constantly wired has blinded us to simple pleasures of life like building a campfire and roasting marshmallows or running around in the pouring rain. (I did run around in the rain this weekend. It was fun!) Rain is an excuse to sit on the computer all day.

I don’t know the answer to this question. What I do know is that all of the positives of the exponential growth of technology and our dependence on it does have negative effects on us. I know that I am too connected or maybe just connected too frequently. The breaks are nice and, I’m finding, necessary to enjoy life to its fullest potential. I don’t know where, when, or how frequently I need to unplug from this constantly wired culture, but two days away from it all has shown me that sometimes we should be stopping to smell the roses instead of stopping to check your email.

Divided We Fall

Anyone who has read any of my writing knows that I did not vote for Barack Obama. In fact, I have probably dedicated a fair amount of writing to why I oppose him. Most of that writing focused on the policies and plans that he has for our country for the next four years. His big government spending proposals are either a lot of hot air because he won’t be able to implement them or if he does manage to implement them he will end up bankrupting our country. As has been stated numerous times, we can’t expect that spending more money to fix things is going to solve the problem. That is a large part of Barack Obama’s plan. The problem is that we don’t have any money to spend. Even today, after the election, I stand by every word that I wrote. I still don’t believe that big government is the answer. I am of the mind that if we really want change in this country, the baby steps that we are taking are not the way to go. Let’s jump right in and make some real, drastic changes. I cast my vote for this kind of real policy change. Barack Obama does not support drastic policy changes in Washington and that is the reason that I could not vote for him.

I was, however, as proud as any American when I watched his acceptance speech. I knew that I was witnessing change of a different variety. It wasn’t the policy change that I wanted, but it was a change in tone. It was a change in our attitude about the country and of the attitudes of both our allies and those that oppose us around the world. In his capacity to be an inspiration to the world, Barack Obama is the right man for the job. In his acceptance speech, he set the tone that divisiveness was a thing of the past and that we would finally have a leader that listened to the people. This is something that we need right now. Our elected officials have forgotten that this is not their government. This is OUR government and we give them to privilege to represent us in the halls of Congress. Obama echoed this when he stated that this election “proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This victory is yours.” Whether the tone of unity will turn into anything concrete, I admit, I’m still a skeptic. Only time will tell. I was, however, struck by the conviction in Obama’s voice I knew when he said it, that he meant it.

Obama also changed the tone of our country during his speech from one of sheltered absurdity of Bush to an open minded realism. He acknowledged that “the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century” but veiled the harsh reality of our current situation with what we really need right now above all else: hope.

The overarching message of Obama’s speech was one of unification. He spoke about working with McCain, ending the divisiveness of Washington, working together to fix the problems of the country, and working with our allies around the world to once again regain their trust. The most important part of Obama’s speech for me personally was one that, I admit, made me a bit emotional. In fact, it has made me emotional every time that I’ve heard or read it since last night. Obama spoke to me: “And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.” This quote, above all others in his entire speech convinced me that I should support Barack Obama because, even though I disagree with him vehemently on policy matters, I agree with his direction on the tone of our country and I am ecstatic that he cares about listening to people like me who disagree with him. That is the mark of a real leader.

Even though I did not vote for Barack Obama, I support him. Obama said it best: “We proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.” In that, I finally agree with Barack Obama and he has my trust to lead our nation.

A Dream Fulfilled?

“I have a dream that one day my four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.”

These are some of the most powerful and well known words from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech . I’ve seen a lot of T-shirts and pins that have MLK’s picture on them next to the phrase “I have a dream…” and Barack Obama’s picture next to a phrase that says “…that change is gonna come” or “a dream fulfilled” or some other phrase that connects these two prominent individuals. The implication is that Barack Obama’s inevitable ascension to the presidency represents Dr. King’s dream fulfilled. In some ways, I’m compelled to agree with this notion. The fact that United States is 13% Black but Obama is polling around 55-60% of the population shows that there are many non-black voters that are judging Obama on the content of his character. Many voters see Obama like they see any other candidate and there is polling to back up the fact that many Americans are more concerned about the economy or the war then the color of the candidate’s skin. Obviously, it will be a historic election when (not if) he is elected tomorrow. After 43 white Christian presidents, Obama will definitely embody change.

(Disclaimer: I know that the statements that follow will ruffle some feathers. Race is still a touchy subject in this country. It’s been about 150 years since the end of the Civil War and I’d agree with anyone that said that we are still a divided country. Race still matters. I’m sure that the fact that I’m white makes me one of the least qualified individuals to be making any statements about race, however, I feel compelled to do so anyway. I was born and raised in diverse places, have an ethnically diverse group of friends and teach in a a school that is about 95 % black. I leave it to you, the reader, to make your own judgments about my credibility and credentials as commentator on this subject. )

I’ve been a bit disheartened by the blind support that many black voters have towards Obama. What makes me question whether Barack Obama is a “dream fulfilled” is that polling has shown that black voters have consistently polled around 90% in favor of Obama. (A recent Gallup poll from Oct 27-Nov 2 had non-Hispanic black voters favoring Obama 91% to 3% for McCain with the rest split between undecided and third party candidates.). To me, this is proof positive that many black voters are voting for Obama based on the color of his skin, not the content of his character and this is contrary to Dr. King’s dream. I’m sure that black voters are much more diverse in their political preferences then these polls are indicating. Is this really Dr. King’s dream fulfilled? I would argue that, while electing a black man to the presidency is a step in the right direction, we’re not there yet.

I’m not naive. I understand the importance of Obama’s election towards truly unifying our country. I understand how important it is for black Americans, who have been fighting oppression 50 years after the law officially stated that all things should be equal, to have one of their own ascend to highest office in the nation. I’ve seen my 14 year old students get all riled up when someone even implies that anybody by Obama is an option. It’s an important milestone for our country. It just feels like such an empty victory because of this blind support. I can’t read Dr. King’s famous words “they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” and say that tomorrow his dream will be fulfilled.